Today I’m entering into the last week of my twenties. I thought about this week a lot last year, as I got ready to turn 29, half way through my self imposed 2-year challenge of ticking off 30 experiences before I have to admit that I am in fact a fully-fledged grown up. But I’ve not so much as given a second thought to my much deliberated Challenge-30 bucket list recently; if it was an actual list, on an actual piece of paper it would likely have been scrunched up and thrown in the bin. For a long time it just wasn’t important to me.
But these last couple of days, the achiever in me has looked at the list and shaken her head in disgrace. I have not managed to tick everything off. Tut tut tut.
Then I realised I’d turned my bucket list into something it was never supposed to be. It had became all about achieving success in the challenge, getting it completed. I’d missed the whole point of it – because I started this thing with the intention of creating opportunities to embrace experiences I’ve not yet lived, not about ticking off some words on a list.
It’s not like at thirty I’d suddenly become unable to live out these fun things! Quite the contrary I’m sure – the older I get the more I thrive on trying new things. Although I’m all for living for today and (trying to) not stress about what tomorrow brings, I’m kinda ok that I’ll enjoy some of the stuff on my list at 30. Or 31 or 41. And the list will only get bigger because I’ll find so much more that I want to try out and enjoy. I still hold that the idea of a bucket list is a good one, because it gets you thinking about what you’d really like to do that you’ve not done before. A metaphoric kick up the backside to simply live. It’s made me realise I need to give myself a break sometimes and let the completer-finisher in me a chance to have a nice ol’ nap.
So I failed my Challenge-30 Bucket List. And for me, right now, I think that’s a good thing.