Today I ate 6 chocolate chip cookies on the trot. I wore a t-shirt clearly too small for me.  I glared at myself in the mirror…Then ate another cookie.

Since christmas I’ve been kidding myself about my eating lifestyle.  But the reality is that when my back has hurt too much to walk around the kitchen, I’d grab something convenient.  ‘Convenient’ is nearly always junk food.  It doesn’t have to be but it nearly always is.  The husband, bless his soul, will jump right in and make dinner for us but it’ll be processed food we have lurking in the bottom of our freezer.

I’ve been a yo-yo diet victim for over five years since cutie-pie #1 came along and stretched my tummy to high heaven.  The husband says I look the same as when we first met.  God bless him for lying to me.

So when I stumble upon this article I wanted to kiss the computer screen.  It not only gives me an excuse not to ‘diet’ but promises that I can lose weight anyway.  Granted, it does skim over the importance of motivation and I think its a way bigger factor than that.  I reckon unless you’re following a step-by-step approach to eating, you need mahoosive amounts of motivation and self-discipline to maintain a healthy lifystyle.  Nevertheless, these words are logical, refreshing and inspiring.

You can read this article and the idea of the ‘anti-diet’ here

Not having chocolate biscuits and crisps in the cupboard is a good idea too.



I’m an ideas person.   They fall into my brain at a crazy speed but only a few stick around long enough to materialise.  I should walk around with a notepad around my neck.  Too often I  have a great Idea well ahead of time then life takes over and before I know it the reason for the ideas has past and gone.  This time I have over three months to make an idea happen.

In June we will be celebrating the Queen’s diamond jubilee with a bank holiday.  I want to do something so quinessentially English that it borders on the ridiculous.  Think gingham, think afternoon tea, think lovely (and very probably mismatching) china.  There’s something very special about miniature sandwhiches, scones and cream cakes that even though it doesn’t completely fill up the tummy, you feel it has been on accasion.

My idea has not progressed to any practicalities yet because it keeps roaming around how pretty it could be.  But I have time….I just need to actually do something about it before the end of May.  And because I’ve written it down and put it out there I couldn’t possibly fail to make something of it.  Eek.



I wanted to blog on tuesday because it was pancake day then I didn’t, and I wanted to blog yesterday because it was the beginning of lent, but I didn’t.  So I’m playing a quick game of catchup before I start real jobs for the day.

I’ve never been fussed about Lent apart from the pancakes that remind us that it is approaching.  I’ve never quite been able to make the link between something related to the Easter story and giving up chocolate.  I just couldn’t connect the dots, it made no sense to me.  My friend Johanna took the words right out of my mouth when she wrote about it.

It’s like historically we were so close and then just missed the mark.  There was a grasp on the need for a journey to be made in the lead up to the most pivotal event in history.  It’s just we made it the wrong kind of journey.  I don’t think the creator of the universe it too bothered whether or not we achieve 40 days without eating chocolate.  I don’t think he’s even too bothered about a period of self-denial.  If that’s all it comes down to.  A short term health kick in the name of Jesus.

The journey is not one to take alone.  It’s not one to be taken for the purpose of personal development.  It’s a journey with Jesus about Jesus.

I see Lent not as a time to abstain but actually to embrace.  To drench yourself in the ultimate story.  Not the one that we’ve sweetened down for the kids but the brutal, violent and nauseatingly uncomfortable reality of what happened to an innocent and perfect man, ands the colossal aftermath that shook the earth.

I guess the only reason to remove or abstain from stuff is if you’re just too busy.  If I can’t fit in the time to think, read and reflect on all this then something’s gotta give right?  It’s been a sharp reminder to me that if I can find a half hour in the day for Home and Away, I should be able to, at very least, match it with time that I give to my maker.

Oooh, this is a serious one.  please know that anytime I bring anything more than plain silliness here, I am reflecting and challenging myself rather than pointing the finger.

I promise this space will soon be filled again with frivolous nonsense.  Or knitting.  I will write all about knitting.







This week I got contact lenses.  I was really looking forward to my appointment because despite longing for glasses as a child, it  turns out I’m really bad at wearing them.  The rims just drive me nuts.  When I got my glasses I picked up a huge pair and jokingly tried them on for The Husband, not knowing they where the glasses to wear at the moment.  I loved them.   I looked ridiculous in them though.

So, yes, the appointment at the opticians.  I have no problem prodding my eye so didn’t give it a second thought until I was sat down with a lens on my finger and my eye wasn’t having any of it.  it was like it was a completely separate entity.  I’d stretch my eyen open with one hand but as soon as the lense got close to my eye lashes my eye shut down.  Their policy is to watch me put the lenses in and take them out before them let me leave with them, and it was getting pretty ambarassing.  Each time I’d apologise to the technician and psych myself up again.  She was a bit bemused by me.  I walked out of the store with two bloodshot eyes and my pride sagging behind me, but with contact lenses in place.  Yes I was victorious over my protesting and stubborn eyes, but only just.

Last night taking them out wasn’t too bad.  This morning it took me about an hour to get them in.  One went in wrong, so I’m running around the upstairs of my home, shrieking and grabbing at my eye.  I’m thankful no one else was home.  Eventually I got them in.  Do I have to do this every day? Uh.

Right now i’m…

Thrilled that I’m up to date with my photo 52 challenge

Completely obsessed with pinterest

Deciding that blue is the new black

Looking out at the patch of garden that I want to clear for growing vegetables

Like, totally okay with Roo making the biggest mess with paint on the table behind me…



I kept looking at the hat I’d knitted for the girls and wishing it fit me.  I was looking at some lovely grey yarn I had bought that was a little too scratchy for a scarf but would be fine for a hat and decided to knit me my own.

I need to learn to be a bit more systematic with my knitting.  I should:

decide what I want to knit – go buy the right amount – start knitting.

Looking at yarn – starting to knit it up without making sure I have enough is always a little risky…

Very risky indeed.

After sewing it up I had about an inch left. phew!  I still can’t decide if it needs a flower on the side or a pom pom but I’m going to keep my head warm while I think.


First day of Half term.  Although my body is struggling my brain in on overdrive.  Ideas for the youth ministry.  Jobs that need to be done within the childrens ministry.  Crafts to keep the girls busy and happy.  Blogs to browse through.  Bathrooms to clean.  Appointments to book. Fingerless mittens to knit… Arrggghhhhh!!

I thought a good start would be to sort out the girls craft stuff so they can access it all themselves.  Of course as soon as Roo saw the paints she wanted to use them immediately.  I set it all up with some stensils and brushes and she was ready to go but she hesitated.

She didn’t want to use the stensils.  They’s get paint on them.  With a patronising tone in my voice I told her that these things were made to be used.

God has such a way of speaking to me through my girls.  Because I am the queen of hoarding.

I’ve not always been like this.  Quite the opposite in fact.  When I was younger, if I was bought new clothes I’d have had them on before I could get the tags off.  But over time I’ve started keeping nice things, not wanting to use them because it would take the sparkly newness away from it.  I do it with magazines! It’s ridiculous I know, but I’ll buy one and just keep it on the side.  I’ll look at it now and then sitting there on the table and enjoy the feeling of anticipation.  The Husband will pick it up and ask if I’m finished with it and I’ll jump up and grab take it from him, putting it back on the side.  But it’s a magazine!  Yep, I totally love them because it opitomizes ‘me time’ when I’m not a mum or a wife or a youth pastor.  But it is what it is.   Sometimes I think I’d kinda freak out if a new magazine got damaged or thrown away (by accident of course) – and then I’d have to give myself a right good reality check.

It’s a weird balance to try and find in life.  Savouring little luxuries in life.  Finding joy in your own space.   Waiting for the right time to really appreciate something.  Enjoying stuff.  Absolutley. But then it’s about keeping perspective.  Stensils were made to be painted on. Clothes were made to be worn.  Magazines were made to be read. Stuff is just stuff.

Ok Lord I get it.