Hoard.

First day of Half term.  Although my body is struggling my brain in on overdrive.  Ideas for the youth ministry.  Jobs that need to be done within the childrens ministry.  Crafts to keep the girls busy and happy.  Blogs to browse through.  Bathrooms to clean.  Appointments to book. Fingerless mittens to knit… Arrggghhhhh!!

I thought a good start would be to sort out the girls craft stuff so they can access it all themselves.  Of course as soon as Roo saw the paints she wanted to use them immediately.  I set it all up with some stensils and brushes and she was ready to go but she hesitated.

She didn’t want to use the stensils.  They’s get paint on them.  With a patronising tone in my voice I told her that these things were made to be used.

God has such a way of speaking to me through my girls.  Because I am the queen of hoarding.

I’ve not always been like this.  Quite the opposite in fact.  When I was younger, if I was bought new clothes I’d have had them on before I could get the tags off.  But over time I’ve started keeping nice things, not wanting to use them because it would take the sparkly newness away from it.  I do it with magazines! It’s ridiculous I know, but I’ll buy one and just keep it on the side.  I’ll look at it now and then sitting there on the table and enjoy the feeling of anticipation.  The Husband will pick it up and ask if I’m finished with it and I’ll jump up and grab take it from him, putting it back on the side.  But it’s a magazine!  Yep, I totally love them because it opitomizes ‘me time’ when I’m not a mum or a wife or a youth pastor.  But it is what it is.   Sometimes I think I’d kinda freak out if a new magazine got damaged or thrown away (by accident of course) – and then I’d have to give myself a right good reality check.

It’s a weird balance to try and find in life.  Savouring little luxuries in life.  Finding joy in your own space.   Waiting for the right time to really appreciate something.  Enjoying stuff.  Absolutley. But then it’s about keeping perspective.  Stensils were made to be painted on. Clothes were made to be worn.  Magazines were made to be read. Stuff is just stuff.

Ok Lord I get it.

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