rest.

 

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Life is fast, right?

 

My lower back and legs are slowly getting stronger and I’ve started decreasing the pain medication.  I get to do normal things now, but I know I do too much.  For the life of me I cannot find my ‘in moderation’ button.  So many people that that we do life with and that love us have comment on how much we take on – and they do it with ‘that concerned look’ on their face.  And I’d probably do exactly the same if I wasn’t me, but someone else who knew me…(I’m not even sure how that works – but do you see what I mean?!).  I’ve wrestled with it for so long, uncomfortable with not being able to ‘do less’.  But for now, until I find that ‘in moderation button, I’m coming to peace with my pace.  And being at peace with it means doing what I can to make it work and taking responsibility for myself as well as my family.  So although I can be ‘spirited’ when The Husband tries to tell me what to do (I’m working on that!) I thought he might be onto something yesterday when he suggested I had a morning in bed and just stop.

Chloe woke up at silly o’clock which is now unusual for her now and out of fear of her waking Roo up I told her to jump into bed with us.  I tried to doze but every other minute she was tickling my nose or sticking her fingers in my ears.  By the time they were getting dressed and I’d done their hair I was wide awake, uh! Don’t you just hate it when that happens?? It wasn’t a morning wasted though and I disciplined (!!) myself to ignore all the jobs that needed doing floating around in my head.

If you do life in the fast lane, there has to be a time to stop for a moment – stop everything that ‘needs’ to be done.  For a little while, everything can wait.  These moments (or mornings, or a snatched hour) need to be scheduled in – for me they do anyway or it doesn’t happen and i keep on going and going and going…..!

Stopping can be snuggling back into bed for an hour, picking up an untouched book or a magazine, going for a walk (if you can avoid all the rain!).  Anything.  It reminds you that even you needs a little TLC and at the risk of sounding like a Loreal advert – it reminds you that you’re worth it.  And that in itself lifts you, right? 

In Psalm 46 it says

“Be still and know that I am God…”

Doing can be great.  Trust me I am a doer.  An impulsive doer at that so watch out.  But the way we think, the direction we’re heading in and our focus has the potential to explode when we just stop.  When we’re still.  In the quiet place.

No matter how crazy busy my life is, no matter all I’m trying to do; when I ‘m still, and I look up, and I know that He is God, everything stops.  Because, although I trust that God increases my capacity as he increases my territory, it’s not about how much I do or what I achieve. Thank goodness for that because I’d flat out fail.  But God’s grace is sufficient for me – blimey it more than sufficient for me.

And that’s where I find rest.

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