smugness and sleep.

Ok so The Husband has been away Jet setting for two days now, and we’re just turning in for night number three.

Night one started out great – in the lead up to bedtime I worked hard at making the downstairs neat and tidy and getting jobs done so I could enjoy a relaxed evening when the girls were in bed.  I was smug that I’d done it all by myself.  Go me.  But bedtime involved Ruby fighting sleep to the bitter end causing me to hide out in my bedroom.   My stupid mobile conked out in the middle of the night so we woke the alarm didnt work, making us wake up late and through the haze of pain and panic, the three of us stumbled around getting cross with each other.  No, thats not fair – I was getting cross at the girls, Chloe was decorating the bathroom with a roll of toilet roll and Ruby was walking around with a lampshade on her head – only it was too big so looked like the lampshade was her head.

On night two I took a different approach and made plans to stay upstairs hoping it would settle Ruby, so I ran a bubble bath.  Only she kept walking into the bathroom with life-threatening problems like she forgot to bath her baby so could she put her dolly in the bath with me(?) and she couldn’t sleep with the noise of the bath (!!!).  Eventually she gave in to slumber but by then I wasn’t moving anywhere from my bed.  Before I’d even put the light out she was crying in her sleep.  She has this thing – I’m pretty sure it’s not night terrors (Chloe had them) because although the answer to everything is ‘no!!’ she does respond when you ask her something.  Either way she gets’ seriosuly distressed.  You can see she just wants a little peace in that beautiful little heart of hers and then as her breathing regulates, slipping back into sleep she starts crying again.  So last night, I didn’t think twice to bring her in with me.  Hey, I’m in survival mode.  That would have been ok.  But then, in the middle of the night a noise woke me and I got the shock of my life to loook at the door and see Chloe just standing there.  Thankfully she’s only just woken up but she was all upset about a bad dream (I know everyone has their own ideas/position/opinions on how to deal with night time disturbances with their children.  You may be shouting at the screen that I’m making a rod for my back.  But sometimes you just got to go with your instincts, and I still vividly remember having horrible dreams as a child and the feeling you’re left with when you wake up in the middle of it is nothing short of awful, and you just need comfort).  At least with three of us in the bed we didn’t have to worry about sleeping in.

In comparison to night one and night two – tonight has been a.m.a.z.i.n.g.  Chloe was great, Ruby was great and I even made it downstairs.  I settled in on the sofa with my knitting and my laptop, ready for an evening of on-demand TV.  I rarely watch anything on schedule anymore, but I kinda like it that way.  It feels like I’m being purposeful with it and not watching the screen aimlessly.

I pottered around the kitchen for a while, tidying and getting the girls lunch boxes all prepped and in the fridge (a source of stree for the last two mornings!). I’d say I was feeling as smug as I felt on Sunday when I had everywhere nice and tidy and jobs done – but I knew where feeling smug had got me.

Its  now afterr 10.30 and the house is silent.  Why I’m still writing rather than going to sleep I have no idea.  I read on another blog earlier that this writer needs to offload whatever she is thinking in order for her mind to relax, and I so related to it.  For me it’s like lifting it out from my brain and onto the computer.  Absolutely therapeutic.

Also therapeutic is sleep, and I need that to keep going for the girls until The Husband comes home.  In another two days. So with that, I’m off!

Adios x

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