For me, smug mummies affect me like scratching your nails down a chalkboard. It makes me feel bad because some mummies become smug by default, if they appear to be having an easy time of it. When you’re exhausted and pleading with your littlie not to take a massive tantrum in the supermarket (again), you just don’t want to see the mummy who looks like she had a full night sleep, had time to put makeup on and ultimately – has the perfect little baby, content in cooing away to herself in the trolley seat. When I come across a tantrum that is not coming from one of my girls, it kinda delights me. I’m not the only one who is not always 100% in control for her children! Praise the Lord! I’m not delighted for the poor mum who has to deal with the meltdown, but the relief can’t be denied. She’s just taking one for the team. A truth I should remind myself Next time Ruby starts shouting in public – this is all for the greater good, the sanity of other mums.
So, for someone who doesn’t have much time for smug mums, I’m risking looking just like one. But hear me out. I was reading an american blog perpping up for their Mother’s Day this weekend. The post was titled ‘Mummy Wishes’, and it will have resonated with all who have children under five-ish. She was wishing for sleep and she was wishing for just a tiny piece of time that she could call hers. Any parent can relate, right? Totally fair wishes. I found myself thinking about my ‘mummy wishes’. With having two over three now, we are loving that we get a full night’s sleep (I was looking over my very first blog posts over on my blogroll, when Roo was six months old and all I talked about was how tired I was, Ha!), and I’ve had my fair share of ‘me time’ over the past seven months. I’ve had time to rest, time to sew, time to dream up the new kitchen.
The Bible tells us this:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Sometimes we just don’t know why some things happen the way they do. To us it makes no sense. And that can be heartbreaking. But faith is believing what you can’t see and trusting in what seems senseless. I choose to believe that God brings hope and good things into dark places. In fact it doesn’t take much faith because I’ve seen it and I’ve lived it. While I have struggled with pain this year I have been able to slow down my pace of life to a healthier level, I’ve had ‘space’ that I wouldn’t normally have had, I’ve felt more loved and way more part of the Emmanuel community, I’ve embarked on a rocky but beneficial journey of understanding ‘healing’ and I’ve had to depend on the Children and Youth Team more than feels comfortable. I like to be in control of situations and as much as I love to support other people I find it hard (on my pride?!) to seek support. So needing to rely on my team to fill the gaps I’ve left when I’ve been out of action has curbed the dangerous arrogance that hides behind ‘independence’.
I’ve digressed. Going back to mummy wishes. In all honesty I was struggling to think of some valid wishes (can I wish for a flat mummy tummy??). It would have been way easier to think of how blessed I have been. See , I sound smug and sickly don’t I?! It’s just that sometimes we have it good but we don’t see it, and when I read that blog post, I saw it and took time to just appreciate and be grateful.
Simply modern Mum – Thank you for giving me space to reflect, acknowledge and appreciate. And I hope you get sleep soon!